Mirror Image

Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror? Sometimes depending on the trials I have the face in the mirror will change. Today it was wishing I looked prettier, skinnier, with perfect skin and a smaller nose, maybe a pair of symmetrical eyebrows. So much happens that can seek to destroy the image placed in front of the mirror. Yesterday night at a ward party we had a talent portion where the Bishops 19 year old mentally challenged daughter stood to sing a song. It took me a few seconds to realize where her gaze constantly was drifting every time she got shaky, it was to her father sitting on the front row. He sat there in front of me filming his imperfect daughter singing a far from perfect song. It didn't matter how many notes she missed or how many actions to the words she fumbled she kept a constant eye on her father. It was in his eyes she saw the unconditional love of a father so proud she was even up there; the nods of encouragement kept a slight smile upon her face. She could do this, the high notes, the low notes, and all the ones jumbled in between rang perfect to her father, sitting there so still with admiration and pride filling his heart. It then dawned on me, it doesn't matter the notes I sing all my father cares about is that I'm up there. As long as every time I shake I look up, there and there only will I see his eyes looking so intently into mine; reminding me of my divine potential. As if somehow saying to me "I have created you, the notes you are singing though sometimes seem wrong to those around you sound perfect to me. Keep going"
Then I must come to realize the face in the mirror will change maybe not the way I want it to or when I want it to, but, God will never take his eyes off of me for one moment. It is only I who will lose the sight if I allow it to. May I forever remain shaky so that I have the sincere humble urge to look up and meet his eyes.

empty streets

It's been a month since I've been home and all I can say is time flies! I miss the street of uneven stone slinking their way through the city of Jerusalem. It's been a hard adjustment coming back; when on a constant spiritual high all the time it was a rude awakening to think I wouldn't need to put any work into that same high when I got home. I have to work harder. Things back home have been hard, decisions have not been easy. I was reading in 2 Nephi today,and it says choice is essential to existance and progression. These choices have two ways to go, happiness or sadness (maybe not so drastic on either side but in an essence it can only go those two ways.) I realized today if we didn't have that opposition or growth factor we would be dead, lifeless. Think of someone who looks lifeless someone who has lost the spark in their eyes. To that I can only conclude I hurt because I feel because I AM ALIVE. Knowing I am alive should be enough shouldn't it? I like to say it should but sometimes I become selfish and think no I want to be alive and be happy all the time in all my decisions. Where is the growth in that?
So to those empty streets, I hope to walk down each one with full courage knowing that regardless the outcome I will know achieve one realization I AM ALIVE, with that in mind I can press through.

Chloe Ence...The greatest artist there ever was

So it's the last week, I'm in full denial; well I wouldn't say full cause I am so excited to go home and mom just told me all my sisters would be here when I got home which I had no clue until last night. So now I'm OVERLY excited to get home and be with my family. Alas let me tell you the adventures of what happened today. So today was a free day and a great free day it was. We started out at 9:00 -ish (it's impossible to get people out on time) and we went over to the Temple Mount. Story number 1... A little back ground it's Ramadan here (where the Muslims fast ALL day and don't eat until like 8 every night; so they ask us not to eat around them cause you know how grumpy you all get when your hungry?? yes it's the same here) So we are at the temple mount walking around and Lauren and I pop a seat on the dome of the rock and she goes "I'm hungry" naturally we pull out a peta we had made and begin eating as I'm almost done with my peta a woman walks past me and gives me the STINGIEST look ever. So I look at T.C. and I say "Is it disrespectful that I am sitting on the dome?" he replys "I don't think so and I think food is okay too cause they break there fast....." OOPS I shoved that peta in my mouth so fast I felt soo dumb.. so did Lauren it was quite the sight.
After the dome we decided to go to Shabon's to change some mulla at Ali Baba's then make our way over to Sam Booki (officially the GREATEST bakery in the Jewish quarter-we go there at least 3 times a week the pastries are only like 7 shekels which is like 3 bucks) LOVE IT!!!
Okay after the Jewish Quarter we went around to the City of David to go through Hezikiah's tunnel, which is a water tunnel that is pitch black (we have flash lights) but that was a nice blast of cold water it was super super fun. Then after that we started through the old city to get to West Jerusalem as walking up the steps in the Jewish Quarter past the Cardo we saw this man painting and he stopped us and was like I will give you free lessons, and you will paint a Menorah... You bet your booty that in the Jewish quarter I painted a Menorah Chloe Ence painted the BEST Menorah out of the 4 of us.... She did a yellow back ground and half way through realized that the Menorah is yellow.... So her painting was called "Where's the Menorah" it's like where's waldo but with a Jewish Menorah:) The pictures will come I have to get them from Angela but we took pictures with our Menorahs in front of everything and with EVERYONE. So story #2 There was this kid that literally looked like Mario glasses, stick mexi stash, curly black hair and the sweetest outfit so I saw him at dinner we ate on Ben Yhuda street and wanted to get a picture with him but he was speaking Hebrew and I didn't think he spoke English so I by passed the opportunity. We walked to Independence park for Ashlynn's birthday and we were sitting on the grass waiting for people to come and I looked across the park and saw him my MARIO walking so I took it for fate stood up grabbed my Menorah painting and Angela... We took off running to get his picture (with the rest of everyone cheering us on from afar) As we were running he took a detour up this path and we were about to book it up the path when I realized something... He was... reliving himself so Ang and I spun around and waited patiently until he was done then when he began walking again we hurried after him. I got the picture no worries it looks awesome yet again I need to take it from ang. Well I will post some random pictures for ya just to enjoy. Like me at the zoo (best zoo ever) or the formal talent show or just what ever I feel like I want to post.:) ENJOY

Pit-chas

No worded post, just pictures of life here in Jerusalem

A week of "Lasts"

Well it's a week of "lasts" here at the JC, we went on our last out of Jerusalem field trip on Sunday, where we got to go float in the dead sea, coolest feeling ever. It felt a lot like space, your body is weightless. But it comes with a consequence, it's super salty. I figured this out not only by feeling the sting in places that aren't supposed to sting, but I was a dummy and wanted to see how salty it tasted and stuck my tongue in; I'm pretty sure I've lost some brain cells while I've been here. Either that or the blistering 110 Degree weather could have killed some brain cells. All in all it was a fantastic field trip probably my fav, I can say to the JC administration way to go out with a BANG.
Its our last week of classes, and tests, and everything it's super crazy. I remember three months ago sitting at home counting down the days.... 10 days, 7 days, 5 days, etc... Now we are down to the single digits here and I don't want to count down, everyone plays it off as if we aren't leaving. What a sad thought. Well I must go to linen exchange so farewell until later

A gift

Today was the big day where I was to sing I heard him come, I was nervous and from last night still a tad I guess the word is unwilling to allow the spirit to guide; even though I wanted him there so bad. When the sacrament came around all I asked was for the spirit to be with me, I didn't care if I messed everything up, I didn't care if my pitch was even on I just wanted to let the emotion guide me. Then I became a tad selfish, this song was for me and my father. My greatest tangible gift he has given me is my ability to express myself through music whether through piano or voice or just music in general I realized that it is a gift. A blessing that I have been given that has the ability to change lives. So in my selfish state I told God this song was just for me and him, I didn't want to sing it for anyone else it was my gratitude to him for this gift. I stood up, took a deep breath turned around and looked at the magnificent view of the whole city behind me nodded to Morgan to start, closed my eyes, and said Lord this one is between you and me, this is for you. Then I began. The peace out weighed my long time friend "my nerves" :) As I began I looked around to each face, one woman on the back row had her face buried within her hankie silent sobs rocked her body, next I looked to the woman in the middle of the chairs tears streaming down her face, then to my fellow students different faces sticking out some looking intently out the window to the city and some looking directly at me. Some wet with tears, others fixated with out a blink. It was then I realized what God actually gave me, the gift he so lovingly bestowed upon me. I was fixed on the two women and a select few of my class mates. Emotion sat deep in my heart but there was nothing that was going to get in the way of what I had to say in that song. I never looked down, the words stayed within my heart and my mind. My mind was clear and nerves working for me and not against. I spoke the words with passion. It was when I finished and had sat down my emotions were let loose, tears streamed down my cheeks and I was for the first time in a very long time content I was at peace with myself and knew I had so much to offer. After sacrament I hate to admit that I ran out the back, I don't sing or play piano or anything like that for words of affirmation from other people, I don't like it very much because I do it for my father and myself. But I had many people who came to me old and young who said that song stirred emotions that had not been touched for years. One woman said she hadn't heard that song since her mission when she would sing it in Spanish, she told me it was a beautiful song in spanish the evoked certain feelings and that she never thought she could feel those feelings come back to her; until I sang. Another one (who had her face covered the whole time) came to me and told me the spirit was so strong, she was Asian so I couldn't understand her very well but my heart knew what her heart wanted to say. Friends came to me and told me it reminded them of home, or of girls camp, times that are cherished in their hearts. I have been given a very special gift; it is the gift of music, it is the gift of passion and emotion it is God's own gift to me something he knew would suit me very well and help not only other people but myself more than anything.

Beware of the Dog

So we are on the final count down, 13 days and I will be back in the states... a horrible yet welcoming thought. So I've got a couple of stories that are just prime. Last Sabbath T.C., Angela and I decided after church to go to the Garden of Gethsemane for an hour or two. Well getting there the long way requires hills and it was hot and I didn't want to sweat (which is impossible) in my nice sunday dress so we decided to take a short cut. This short cut leads you down a small dirt "mountain" to a rock wall then to the downward slopped road to Gethsemane (cuts like at least 10 minutes off the walk) So we go have a wonderful time and decided to head back around 3, being the adventures or (impatient both work) Americans we are we decided this time instead of walking back up the hill we'd just climb the wall and walk up, so climbing the wall no big deal other then the honks from the cars we got which is normal. We just over and begin our climb, passing through a mans front yard to the mountain side we needed to be on we see a sign that says BEWARE OF THE DOG and we kept walking, two dogs start barking and we look over seeing they are chained to the tree I mean when you have a sign that says beware dog you think there is one maybe two so we thought we were clear... we keep walking then I feel angela on my side stiffen, she turns and just starts booking it down the hill back to the wall to the road, I look up and see this huge police dog trotting our way barking a bark that well was cause for a choice word then T.C. and I turned around and I had the Iron grip on his wrist as he kept saying "keep walking keep walking keep walking" well I wasn't walking I was hopping/walking/running. We get out to the road and turn around to see the man had come out of his house and he was just laughing and waved.
That was adventure #1 the next day was adventure #2
A group of us went to the dome of the rock and for some reason it was super busy (one thing about things being busy is there is always language barriers... I hate language barriers. so as we are walking in I walk through a crowd of tourists and notice a 100 shekel note on the ground (thats like 35ish dollars) so I pick it up and ask the man next to me if it is his... Greedy little greed man takes it asks his friends then just sepaks to me in a different language trying to get the note in his pocket all the while he is shaking his head like it's not his... so Sharla took the note and said we'd go turn it in... I walk it over to the security guards and tell them I found it and would like to turn it in. Their response?? laughing.... I got laughed at by every security guard that came and saw, I swear they were calling each other over on the radio because it happened a lot. They told me I was a good girl and couldn't beleive I didn't keep it. They took my information and said if no one had claimed it in 3 months it was mine (I fully expect that 100 shek piece to come to me in the mail in Idaho or Utah; highly doubt it though)
More adventures have come and gone since then but those two really stood out in my mind as something to share with you all.. Again I'm too lazy to sit here and wait for pictures to load so you'll get em later!!!